Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Bad maths

According to every chick flick or show the math is simple. Travel to some country with an absolute douchebag and you will have some troubles that you will overcome and bam there's Mr. Right. A fine example is Sex & the City, a bad example is Leap Year. The main problem with this is that you have to deal with a lot of douchebags to get to Mr. Right.

I recentely travelled while having a douchebag at home and the best I got was an odd Peruvian man stroking my face in the Amazon jungle. I do believe we are now wed, you may send the gifts to my new address, 5th tree on the left after a 2 hour boat ride down the Amazon river.

Another charming male approached me while in Miami. Complimented me as I walked past. "DAAAAMN girl! MMMM you fine!", but wait, it doesn't stop there. "I'm gonna buy you a drink and put something in it so you pass out and I got ya'll to myself." This romantic story is currently in the process of being adapted into a film. Kate Hudson will be playing me.
Possibly the biggest issue I have with this guy is not that he thinks I must be dumb enough to accept the drink that he told me he's drugged, but the fact he was trying to drug me, no that's clearly a normal thing in Miami. At least with this outstanding citizen. Did I mention intense French guy? The list goes on.
The only obvious answer to this solution is to pull weird faces when freaks talk to you and pretend that's just how your face looks, and simply pray Mr. Right isn't around to see it.

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